Story by Portia Choi
Photos by Chris Nielsen
Thomas Brill was the featured poet at the May 2018 Open Mic at Dagny’s Coffee. He has written about 1000 poems over the years.
Brill said “I first wrote poems in high school. Bad poems. Song, lyrical poetry. I was interested in creative writing, and some poems were published.
“It was during college years when I was really interested in poetry. Another student, a poet and musician, wrote a lot. We wrote together.
“Then there was a professor who was really encouraging. He said my poems were ‘brilliant.’ My poems during college were bold, interesting, ‘dadaistic,’ silly and fun. (In college,) I expressed my nutty, expressive self. Writing was a refuge. My eccentricities became more pronounced, like dancing out on tree limbs. It was liberating and freeing.
“In later years, I wrote about my anxiety, strong emotions, especially negative emotions.”
Brill said “I grew up with seven siblings, so I was never alone. So I do not like being alone. But when I write poetry, I am comfortable being alone.
“I am a unconventional guy with the trappings of conventionality. (Brill is an attorney in a large law firm.) When you really write poetry and are baring your soul, that is not a conventional thing to do. Now (writing) is a necessity, to express myself. It’s like food. It’s like stretching. Every morning. Usually five days a week.”
Of the 1,000 poems that Brill has written, he considers 200 to 300 of them to be decent.
At the Open Mic, Brill recited his “decent” poems from the various phases, over the years, of his writing. For the story for Kern Poetry website, Brill provided examples of poems from the various phases of his writing.
The first phase was as a college student. Brill provided, by memory, the following two poems from those years:
“C”
By Thomas Brill
the letter c
is the only letter
I could love
because it is smooth
and so
delicious
the CIA (a Haiku)
by Thomas Brill
Fidel Castro has
Charisma. The CIA
Wants to wear his beard . . .
Brill’s second phase of poetry writing was during law school and the first few years practicing law. He felt frantic living alone. And he wrote a lot while drinking.
The poem, rebecca, is from the second phase and it was performed at the Open Mic.
rebecca
by Thomas Brill
this bitch called Rebecca called
snotty nosed female of the genre
and said oh boy was she pissed
and she doesn’t know how many
people dumped shit on me but i
didn’t have to do it to other people
and yelled like that at me and got
real mad and told me she had a
husband and three kids and a dog
and she didn’t know she was gonna
hafta stay til eight to get the research
done
I said oh yeah well it’s just part of
the job you persnickety bitch and she
stopped me and said what’s persnickety
and I said you know kind a like uppity
only when white people do it and she
said that’s stupid how can you even say
something so racist you fecund hound
and I said I don’t think you used fecund
right and she said I did too and I said
bitch
then there was this older lady like seventy
eight or something who blew her brains out
the same day but I don’t think it was cause
she heard us fighting on the telephone
The third phase of Brill’s writing was when he was in Napa, California. There was a group of writers which he was a part of. There were 200 people who got together and about 20 would read. Brill said “This was when my writing became mature. The nature of my writing changed, it was more creative.”
One of the poems from the third phase is Man Living Quiet Life in the 21st Century.
Man Living Quiet Life in the 21st Century
By Thomas Brill
It’s not that I go around crying with big
gooey tear drops in my eyes, oh no,
like a refreshing rain storm that would bring too much relief,
instead I’m parched dry like Bush-Gore debate,
feeding on e-mails that contain no e-motion,
reeling in fish hooks to which bits and bytes
have attached themselves leaving no room for the fish,
guesstimating my age and weight like the carnie
who’s always right—how does he know?
–I can’t even get my remote to work.
Another poem from the third phase was inspired by the death of Brill’s brother-in-law from a car accident. Brill said, “the poem is about the juxtaposition of the very profound moment, like death, and the triviality of the way most lives are lived. The way we live the biggest part of our lives.” The poem is fill the hearse.
fill the hearse
by Thomas Brill
fill the hearse
with super unleaded,
not regular,
at least 89 octane
turn on the headlights,
day or night,
and drive slowly
down the grease stained highway,
while all the other cars
sputter and drool
carbon deposits
on the wheezing asphalt,
following slowly headlamps lit
dimly searching
for signs of life in
oncoming cars—
nothing there
then single file into
the park,
strewn with crumpled bags
and paper McDonald’s cartons
(no more Styrofoam,
because it doesn’t biodegrade,
he thought,
as they lowered her body
into the hole)
and Thunderbird bottles,
cigarette butts right there
where they’ve put her
a squirrel suspiciously fat
runs off,
crows perched on branches of
trees blooming
like a lover’s lips in Spring,
they lay her down
under one,
where in the Fall the
pink blossoms would
slowly wrinkle up
and drop onto the young
grass there
The fourth and current phase of poetry writing is since being back in Bakersfield in 2007. Brill said, “my poetry is more reflective and deeper. I see things more holistic. The different parts making sence, seeing how everything fits together.” The poem, Mere illusion, is from this period.
Mere illusion
By Thomas Brill
There is music
and there are lists.
The rest is mere illusion.
Oh, and there is the bed frame I
painted blue yesterday,
Not Picasso blue,
just the most basic blue
you can paint,
the blue not of sky and not
of Picasso, but of Home Depot,
which for me was challenge
enough,
patiently pretending I was done
already,
slow strokes covering every
crevice,
The first thing I ever painted.
There is no poetry
in painting a bed
Home Depot blue.
Oh, but there is poetry too.
Music, lists, the
blue bed frame
and poetry.
The rest is mere illusion.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The May Open Mic was another evening of sharing of original poetic words. The variety of subject and honesty and fun was ever present at the event.